Can you Really be Confident as a Mom?

Motherhood is not a walk in the park, but parks can help! As a mom-to-be or when you think about motherhood before you have a child, there are so many happy and exciting feelings. These are feelings you get from movies or watching others parent. Those feelings exist in real life, but maybe not exactly how I expected it.

Most times I feel like I am struggling to survive. Am I doing enough at work? Am I spending enough time with my kids? Is my house a mess or mostly clean? These things are hard to manage and juggle mentally and physically.

Your child will not go to sleep and wake up when you want him or her to. They will not wait patiently as you write the rest of your email. The schedule you have in your head is so hard to actually follow. This can be a hard reality, especially as a working mom and someone who was good at getting things done.

Learning to go with the flow more and not stress too much is so hard. I definitely am a stressor. But I need to survive and my kids don't need to feel my stress or anyone else's so it has to be done. You have to consciously think, is this a stressor or burden? If it is you have to figure out how to change your mindset or change the situation, whichever works for you in that situation.

I learned to follow my kids lead for many things. For me that helped alleviate the stress of many situations because I let go of unrealistic expectations. With my daughter it was for nursing and sleeping. Her schedule was my schedule, and I had a happier baby. (Let's not even talk about how awful a car ride could be if she wasn't well fed before we got in the car. So I would make sure to take extra time to feed her!)

You know what? After accepting my child's habits and needs at this phase, I felt better. I didn't get more sleep for a few more months, but by changing my mindset, I felt better about it. By 18 months my daughter slept for 7 hours at a time on average. I was so happy!!! A doctor told me that she should be sleeping longer than that without waking. I was like, I am happy to get my 7 hours of sleep. Why is the doctor telling me or my toddler she should not wake up to nurse after 7 hours. Is it really that bad? In my opinion no, it isn't bad. Maybe some people wouldn't like it or it isn't convenient. That is fine, you figure out what works for you and I will do what works for me. Just don't tell me that I need to change.

My point is, do not let societal norms tell you to change things that you are okay with and are working for you. If you and your child are thriving why change? Babies and children go through so many phases, we need to try to embrace each phase and enjoy it. Not critique if it is normal, what everyone else is doing, or question what we should be doing.

What makes you feel confident or maybe less confident as a mom?